Au-pairing for the devil

Travelling, in whatever form it takes, is an opportunity for adventure and unexpected opportunities - as this website testifies to. However, rarely is anything written about the negative experiences that can at times feel as frequent as the positives. These stories are worth sharing and you can learn from the negatives just as much as the positives, if not more. Ailín had a very difficult nine months during her time in Poland and even a year on you can still feel through her writing that it still hurts. That being said, Poland is a country I have visited on four or five separate occasions and know well - myself and Ailín will return in a few months to work this summer - and this story should not leave anyone with a negative impression of the country it took place in.

Tom

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So far all the stories that you’ve read on this website have been nothing but good experiences, but this time I (Ailín) wanted to write about something different: about the bad experiences that you can come across whilst travelling.

Even though I’m extremely thankful and very lucky to be able to say “Oh I’m going to England, again” or “My friend from Australia messaged me…”, I have had very few bad experiences and there was one in particular that left a mental scar. I didn’t write about it earlier because I was trying to process it or just forget about it. Now that almost a year has passed since then I’m able to write about it and express myself without feeling upset or angry or sad.

Everything started back in 2020 when I was working as a volunteer in London and my tourist visa was about to expire. I didn’t have much money and, with my family being on the other side of the globe, I didn’t have a place to stay. During that period I met a girl, also from Argentina, who recommended me to apply as an au pair.

I did some research and after a week or so a family in Poland contacted me. Because my boyfriend was already in Poland and had told me good things about it, it was easy for me to say yes and also seemed like a great opportunity to see a new country. When I later told him that the job was in Katowice, he wasn’t impressed since the city is very grey, boring and industrial, which I found out when I arrived.

Long story short, he was just about to leave the country the day I told him I was arriving, he changed the date and we met the next day after a month of not seeing each other. Four days passed, he left and I stayed.

The first two weeks went okay…

During the third is when things started to change. A friend I had met in Barcelona, Joe, was travelling around Europe and decided to come to Katowice. I was more than excited to see him again after six months of not seeing him but this family wasn’t. I should clarify that they were very catholic, hence, not open-minded at all. After I told them about it they were acting weird but I just ignored it.

On Saturday noon I was ready to go when the mother asked me why I was leaving so early; apparently for her having lunch with a friend is a crazy thing to do. So I explained that he had to take the bus in the afternoon, but for her it was still weird that after a couple of weeks I had already seen two different people in Katowice, a place that no one visits. After a brief argument, I left and enjoyed the short time with my friend.

Two days passed but the tension was still there. For that to be finished, they decided to have a “chat” which started with something like “is there a chance that you are involved with drugs?”. I was stunned, I got furious and speechless at the same time. How can someone’s mind relate seeing a friend with being a drug dealer?! The father was trying to act more calm but the mother kept saying I should grow up and calm down, when she wasn’t in the right at all.

That whole week was chaos, my parents got angry, the family got even more angry and I was ready to give up and leave but, for money reasons, I had to stay and bear with it. We had a second chat that didn’t involve the word drugs and they kinda (he did, she didn’t) apologised.

This was just the beginning of what was to come during the rest of my time in Katowice.

Nine months of bearing with her breathing down my neck saying how I did everything wrong, nine months of lockdown and not leaving that house, nine months of her comparing me with the previous au pair. 

Nine months passed and I was finally free.

All I can say from this experience is, how funny it is that the previous au pair who she was comparing me to is sleeping with her (now ex-) husband.

I have more stories like this from my time there but I think that’s enough for now. I wrote this for the au pairs that may be going through something similar or as a warning for those who will consider doing it. If you feel uncomfortable, or just not welcome, don’t bear with it, leave. Find something better, there’s always something better waiting. Don’t be scared, do it or you will regret it.

Written by: Ailín Moyano Carbone (@serendipity_amc16)

Posted: 18/04/2022